Boundaries: What Are They and How Do I Set Them?
Feel like you’re constantly saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”?
Struggling to make space for yourself without feeling guilty? Let’s talk about boundaries—what they are, why they matter, and how you can start setting them today.
What Does “Setting Boundaries” Actually Mean?
You’ve probably heard the term “setting boundaries” tossed around on social media or in therapy spaces—but what does it really mean?
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our time, energy, emotions, and well-being. They’re how we teach others (and ourselves) what’s okay and what’s not okay in our relationships, our schedule, and even our physical space. Think of them as emotional guardrails that help you stay grounded and aligned with your needs.
And no—setting boundaries isn’t rude, mean, or selfish. It’s actually one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and the people around you.
What Setting Boundaries Looks Like in Real Life
Let’s break it down with a few real-life examples. If you’ve ever struggled to speak up or worried about disappointing others, these are for you.
1. Saying “No” to Overcommitment
Scenario: You’ve had a long week, and a friend invites you out. You feel guilty turning them down but know you need rest.
Boundary:
“Thanks for the invite! I really need a quiet night in to recharge. Can we plan something soon?”
Why it works: You’re protecting your energy and being respectful of the relationship.
2. Setting Emotional Boundaries in Conversations
Scenario: A loved one vents to you often, and it’s starting to affect your mood and mental space.
Boundary:
“I care about you and want to support you, but I’m not in the headspace for this right now. Let’s check in tomorrow.”
Why it works: You’re acknowledging their feelings while taking care of your own emotional bandwidth.
3. Protecting Your Time
Scenario: A friend wants to hang out all weekend, but you’ve planned a self-care day (or three).
Boundary:
“This weekend is blocked off for rest—I need it. Let’s catch up next week instead!”
Why it works: You're not apologizing for needing downtime—you’re owning it.
4. Communicating Physical Boundaries
Scenario: You’re dating someone new, and something they do makes you uncomfortable.
Boundary:
“I’m not comfortable with that right now. I’d love to keep getting to know each other, but I need to go at my own pace.”
Why it works: You’re asserting your needs while creating space for connection on your terms.
Why Boundaries Change Everything
Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or being the “strong one” for everyone else. But here’s the truth:
✨ Boundaries are freedom.
✨ Boundaries are self-worth in action.
✨ Boundaries help you protect your peace without apology.
Once you start practicing, you'll notice how much lighter you feel—more confident, more grounded, and more in control of your life. And bonus: your relationships become more respectful, intentional, and fulfilling.
It’s Okay If It Feels Hard at First
If setting boundaries makes you feel guilty, anxious, or unsure—that’s normal. You’re unlearning patterns, and that takes time. Some people may push back when you start setting new limits. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re honoring yourself in a new way, and that’s powerful.
You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to protect your time, energy, and emotional health.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s self-care. And it’s one of the most important things you can do for your growth, healing, and happiness.
Want Support Setting Boundaries That Actually Stick?
Working with a therapist can help you clarify your boundaries, practice holding them, and build the confidence to follow through—even when it’s hard. If you’re ready to put yourself first and start showing up for your own needs, I’d love to support you.
Click here to learn more about online therapy with me.
Let’s work together to create a life where you come first—because you deserve that.
—
Jade Staubs, LCSW
Licensed Therapist | J Therapy | Serving Women in Florida
Hi, I’m Jade, therapist based in Florida. Your biggest supporter.
Therapist for anxious, overwhelmed women in Florida
and Founder of J Therapy. You’re in the right place.
Let’s connect: